Installment 21

~

Later that afternoon that same question --- "What made it so hard to keep their men at home?" --- had someone else wondering too. Returning from a brief email excursion to the mall, Delaney noticed her mother’s van in the driveway. Bounding down the stairs to the basement apartment she was brought up short by the sight of her mother sitting at the end of the sofa, hugging her legs and curled up in what looked like a fetal ball. Though the girl’s noisy entrance was enough to silence Kathy’s sobbing, when she looked up an embarrassed grin only served to highlight her red, swollen eyes.

“Mom. What’s wrong? Why are you home so early? Did something happen at work?”

Delaney’s rapid fire questions would have to wait for a response, long enough for Kathy to sit up, retrieve her purse, and locate a tissue. Daubing at her eyes, she could not bring herself to meet the girl’s wondering gaze as she explained, “I got off early. That’s all. Nothing happened.”

“Getting off early makes you cry like that?”

Her mother’s attempt to create an understanding smile came up short. In fact, for a moment it appeared the tears might return. “It’s Gary. That’s all. He got that job I told you about. He just called to tell me all about it. ”

“And? Is it as good as he thought it would be?”

“Apparently it’s better.” Kathy’s unenthusiastic grin offered little comfort. “He was so pumped. Listening to him, it’s hard to imagine he could ever settle for Tanner. Not the way he feels right now.”

For an instant Delaney paused to scold herself for not feeling guilty. Clearly, Gary’s notion of good news had come as a blow to her Mom, pushing her to tears. Yet, while her mother was grieving, Delaney was caught up in a rush of new possibilities.

“Does that mean we can go back home? You know that’s what Gary wants.”

“Del. Don’t go there, please. He’s already been on my case. That’s why we ended up in a shouting match, until I finally hung up on him.” Hearing herself speak those words had Kathy shaking her head. “God. I’ve never done that before. But he just wouldn’t back off. He’s so stubborn.”

Reaching up for Delaney’s hand, Kathy pulled the girl down beside her. “Anyway, I told him for the umpteenth time that Tanner is our home now. You’ll be registering for school pretty soon. Once you get involved there you won’t miss L.A. at all.”

“How about you?” Delaney asked.

“I not missing L.A. a bit.”

“I’m not talking about L.A. You know that. It’s Gary. You do miss him. I can tell. I know you’d be happier back home with him.”

That brought Kathy to her feet. Having just fought that war with Gary, she was in no mood to go there again. “Delaney Padgett, listen very carefully. I don’t want to have to repeat myself. We are staying here. So get used to that. Tanner is home, for now and as long as you’re in school.”

“Why are you being so stubborn? You blame Gary for being that way, but you’re acting just the same.” Delaney’s questions were growing more demanding. “You’re miserable here. I’m miserable here. Gary’s miserable without you. What’s the point?”

“The point is, keeping you in school and out of trouble is the most important thing right now. It’s about creating a future for you.” Kathy had slipped into the same command tone that had so aggravated Gary. “It’s about you learning to like Tanner, and knowing that it’s home. Which you can do if you’ll just try.”

Not surprisingly, her daughter’s caustic reply was even louder. “And you’re willing to give up being with Gary, which is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to you, just for my stupid future. That is so dumb.”

Stepping over to where Delaney was half sitting on the arm of the sofa, Kathy pulled her to her feet and into a tight embrace. For a few seconds her words were choked off by renewing tears. Then, “He’s not the ‘best thing’. He’s the second best, after you. And that means it’s you, me, and Tanner, kiddo. That’s the way it has to be.”

With her head still on her mother’s shoulder, Delaney bit her lip and willed away her own tears. As happened so often, she was asking herself why adults, the so-called rational ones, could look the facts right in the eye and still make the wrong choices.

“Besides,” Kathy whispered. “Dad said you sounded like you might actually be looking forward to school. That’s a good sign.”

“I didn’t say I was ‘looking forward’ to it. I said it looks like I have no choice.”

Still holding the girl’s shoulders, Kathy pushed herself away to arm’s length. “There’s another reason for us being here. When Grandpa goes off on his retirement trip, which Grandma says he’s going to do, she’ll need you here with her.”

“She doesn’t want me around. I only get in the way. As far as she’s concerned I can’t do anything right. Just ask her.”

“We’ve already talked about it, Mom and I. And I guarantee you, she wants you here with her.”

What was the sense of arguing? Delaney realized it was getting her nowhere. It was time to escape for a while. Stepping away from her mother’s grip, she answered, “I need some fresh air. I think I’ll take a walk.”

“Okay,” Kathy said. “I’m pretty sure Mom and I will be gone when you get back. She asked me to join her for some Garden Club thing. Actually, she said you were welcome to come along too. I told you’d probably pass on that.”

“Thanks, Mom. I appreciate that. There’s no reason to be totally bored.” Purse and sunglasses in hand, the girl started for the stairs.

Chapter Seventeen

Everything about that Friday afternoon seemed to remind Delaney of how depressing Tanner could be. Her mom and Gary wanted to be together, but could not agree on where that should be. When she left the house her grandparents were not fighting, but only because Grandma and Mom were leaving for town and Grandpa was asleep in his recliner. Earlier that afternoon she had walked to the mall to check her emails, a half hour’s walk that yielded only two brief and not-so-newsy messages. By any measure Tanner was a bummer, turning everything it touched from bad to worse.

Leaving the house, she started aimlessly down the hill toward town, following the route she had taken with Antonio the day before. After a few minutes she paused at a familiar intersection, wanting to remember the name of the street he had pointed out, the one leading to Southside High. By the time she reached to the foot of the first long hill a possible destination had crossed her mind. Her friend had mentioned a skateboard park, just beyond a church parking lot. Though they had not seen it from the street, his appraisal of the place and its inhabitants had not been flattering.

Delaney remembered wondering at the time how accurately Antonio, with his “semi-geeky”, “good boy” view of the world, had portrayed Tanner’s contribution to the skateboarding world. She would be the judge of that, she told herself. After all, she had grown up in Venice Beach, a virtual skateboard nirvana. Certainly she was more qualified than Antonio Calle to render a verdict on how Tanner’s provincial efforts stacked up.

Ten minutes later she walked across the empty church parking lot to the edge of McAdams Recreational Park, “The Mac” to local boarding afficionados. With only a cursory glance she concluded it was not all that much, at least by California standards. There were a couple pyramids, one low rail, and a single deck atop the longest of half a dozen ramps. Conspicuously absent were the high walled “tubes” favored by Venice Beach boarders. 

Her first judgement was to label the place a poor imitation of the real thing, right down to the skaters’ cookie cutter outfits: baggy jeans, loose fitting shirts that hung below the knee, and tight knit skull caps pulled low over the ears. Among the eight or nine teens in attendance the uniform de jour, obviously lifted from the pages of a Southern California skateboarding magazine, varied only in the color of the shirts.

Moving closer, she spotted another defining clue. Standing behind a pair of concrete benches to her right were a trio of young men, gathered close together, passing a single cigarette from one to another. That was something she could relate to. Whether it was called “a weed’, “a joint”, “a roach”, or “a hit”, that piece of action was a reminder of home.

Then, before she realized he had noticed her, the tallest of the three took a long, slow drag, cupped the cigarette in his hand and started toward her. He approached slowly, making a production of checking her out. The sight of him, and the transparent display of casual macho he wanted her to see, struck her as funny.

“Don’t think I’ve seen you around here,” the young man said.

“That’s ‘cause I’ve never been here before.”

The boy paused for another drag on his smoke before holding it out to her. It was hard to tell if he was surprised by her willingness to accept his offer. The cigarette was shorter now. Pinching it between two fingers she inhaled deeply.

If the youngster was impressed by Delaney’s familiarity with the process it did not show. Still, there was no hiding his dismay when she quietly asked, “Where did you get this crap? Do they sweep it out of the horse barn?”

He was grinning, as much at her attitude as her question. “So what makes you an expert on good weed?” he asked.

Delaney stepped closer, moving deeper into her own well practiced roll playing. “I'll tell you what, where I come from they’d never touch garbage like this. This is the stuff they pack up and send north, to places like Tanner.”

“Where you come from,” the boy repeated with apparent skepticism. “And where might that be?”

“L.A., of course.” She motioned toward the park and it’s skaters. “Where all this stuff was born. Where it’s still the best there is.”

“So what brings you here? How come we’re so lucky?” 

He handed the now shorter smoke to her. Pinching it carefully to keep her fingers from getting burned, she took a last long drag and gave it back to him. “My mom’s from here,” she explained, returning to his question. “She thinks I should be here too. Thinks it will ‘straighten me out’, whatever that means. Anyway, they tell me I’ll start my senior year at Southside High in a few weeks.”

Reaching out to take her arm, he offered an intriguing, but slightly menacing smile. He was smooth, she noted. Smooth and good looking. Probably used to having his way. “So, what’s your name, L.A. Girl? The next time I see you I’ll want to know who I’m talking to.”

“I’m Delaney. And you are?”

“Well, Delaney. I’m Martin, Martin Copeland. My friends call me Marco.”

Reaching down, Delaney deliberately lifted his hand from her arm. “I’ll remember that, Martin. If I ever see you again.”

“Oh, you’ll see me. You can count on that. It sounds like we’ll be in the same senior class picture. Won’t that be cozy?” 

With nothing more than a flirty little grin Delaney turned and started back toward the street. She knew about that part too. About leaving the scene while he was still interested, even curious. She would see him again. He had said as much. Better to leave him wanting to know more. Then, as she started across the parking lot, his unexpected summons brought her to a stop.

“Hey, L.A. Girl,” Martin called out. “Are you on foot? I’m heading out myself. Can I drop you off somewhere?”

Pausing to consider the daunting uphill walk back to the Padgett home, Delaney understood the logic of accepting his offer. True, she hardly knew him. But she had long ago learned to tell the difference between macho bluster and unnecessary risk. It had taken her only seconds to peg young Marco as a ‘wannabe’, a hopeful salesman: pushy, but safe as could be.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’d take you up on that. It would save me a long walk back to the Heights.”

“Let’s do it then.” He nudged her toward the sleek black coupe, with its shiny wheels and darkened windows.”

Installment 20

Chapter Sixteen

To her parents’ surprise Kathy drove up in front of their Tanner home just after two o’clock that Friday afternoon, nearly four hours earlier that expected. For her part, Kathy was just as surprised to be greeted at the fron door by her mother. 

“You’re home,” she exclaimed. “Del told me you’d left. She didn’t know where, but she said you were gone.”

“Only for a few days. I came back yesterday.” Nell took the bulky dirty clothes bag from her daughter, leaving Kathy with her suitcase. Starting down the hall, they dropped their baggage at the top of the basement stairway and walked on to the kitchen.

“Dad’s out in the garage,” Nell said. “He’s finally got around to cleaning off the work bench. It was getting to where we couldn’t find anything out there. Delaney walked over to the mall, probably half an hour ago. I think she needed her daily email fix. Let me pour us some iced tea and we can go out on the deck.”

A moment later, as she retrieved a pitcher from the refrigerator, she asked over her shoulder, “What has you home so early? We didn’t expect you until after dinner.”

 “I’d taken half a shift for Debra on Tuesday, so she covered for me this afternoon. I was anxious to get home. It sounded like Del and Dad were on their own. I thought they probably needed some help. But here you are. So I guess not, eh?”

Kathy took a quick sip of iced tea, then cut right to the chase. “It sounds like you and Dad had a crazy week.”

Without a reply, Nell nudged her daughter toward the outside deck, high over the back yard. Though there no avoiding what came next, she was dreading it nevertheless. In an uncomfortably ironic sense her daughter, their only offspring, was something of a stranger, having just returned to the family fold after decades spent on the fringes of her parents’ lives. It was hard to know how she would react, hearing about the most significant relational conflict her father and mother had ever experienced?

Outside, seated comfortably on the shady side of the deck, Nell sipped at her tea, reminding herself that their little girl had grown into a mature, straight thinking woman and mother. There was no doubting her concern, which meant that Nell owed her the truth, as uncomfortable as that would be. Then, before she could introduce her version of that truth, her daughter was there with her own questions.

“I couldn’t believe it when Del told me you’d left. I know it shocked her to tears.” There was a second or two of hesitation before she asked, “Do you mind that I’m curious to know what that was about? Was it more of the same stuff we heard last weekend? I thought at the time that it didn’t sound at all like you and Dad. It was nothing like I remembered.”

“I know,” came her mother’s wistful reply. “It surprised me, and your father too. I’m not sure either of us realized how far it would go.”

“So why did you leave? That seems so ...... so extreme.”

“It was extreme,” Nell nodded, pleased to hear that her daughter’s concern came in the form of questions, rather than upsetting judgments. “I suppose it was meant to be. The situation seemed to call for something extreme, something to get his attention, to bring your father to his senses.”

A long, deliberate drink of tea gave Kathy time to frame her response. “Listening to Del, I could tell it made an impression on her. Look, I know you guys have been at odds about your retirement plans. Those were the first words we heard when we got here. Remember? There must have been a few times when the neighbors heard that too.”

“Yeah. It got to where it was awful. That’s why I left.” On her feet again, Nell walked across the deck and back before, with her eyes riveted on the floor, she explained, “It felt like I had to make a stand. I was afraid if something didn’t change we might go on dancing that same stupid dance forever.”

“And you couldn’t do what he wanted?” Kathy asked. “Not even for a while?”

Reclaiming her seat, Nell finally looked up, displaying an earnest intensity that surprised Kathy. “Honey, your father is not a young man anymore. Certainly not as young as his crazy dreams.

“If he had his way we’d give up this beautiful home, here in our hometown, where we grew up. He’d have us living in a tiny little box on wheels, spending our time traveling all over the place. We might see you folks and the rest of the family every four or five months. In the meantime, there’d be no garden, no church, no nothing.

“Anyway, when your father finally realized I wasn’t willing to settle for that kind of life, what did he do? Why he started planning his own escape, without me. The last I heard he'll be foregoing the motor home part. But he’s going, at least for a while, driving around, staying in motels. He’s calling it a ‘trial run’, and he has the nerve to call that a ‘reasonable compromise'. About five minutes after I heard that I’d decided it was time for a ‘compromise’ of my own, a little ‘shock therapy’ if you will.”

“So you left,” Kathy nodded. “And now you’re back. So did your leaving change anything? Did you two finally get things sorted out?”

Shaking her head, Nell’s smile had turned sad. “I don’t think so. It didn’t seem to change him at all. I’m not sure there’s any compromise in him. So I’ve had to compromise with myself, and to settle for having my home, my friends, and my family. If I can have that much, I guess I’ll have to get along with a ‘sometimes’ husband. I’m so tired of us yelling at each other. It’s seems easier to just let him go off and do his thing.”

They turned quiet for a bit, as if their conversational energy had been expended. Then, setting her glass on the table, Nell prepared to accept that welcome lull as an opportunity to change the subject. “Enough about your silly parents and their craziness,” she said. “Tell me about your job, and what you’ve heard from Gary. Is he still in Los Angeles? Still looking for a job?

“Better than that. He called the other day to say he’d been hired. He was supposed to start yesterday, so I haven’t heard the details yet. I expect he’ll be calling this weekend. He made it sound like it was a great opportunity, doing exactly what he wants to do.”

“Which means he’ll be staying down there. Is that right?”

Why did her mother insist on putting it so bluntly? For two frustrating days Kathy had replayed Gary’s undisguised delight, torn between his obvious excitement and her own ambivalence. He was certain he found the "perfect" job. He was set, which in his mind meant they could be set. His pleading declaration had been straight to the point. It was time for her and Delaney to come home, to Los Angeles. Why did it sound like he had totally forgotten her earlier ultimatum, as though he had never heard her in the first place?

By then Nell had picked up on her daughter’s unsettling reluctance. “Is he wanting you to go back there?” She waited for Kathy’s reply, but there was none. “Is that it? If so, I’d say you don’t seem too happy about it.”

Kathy bent low in her chair, fussing with a shoe lace, before offering, “I suppose I was hoping for a fairy tale ending. I don’t expect that will be happening now, not when I’m in Tanner and he’s down there in L.A. 

“Gary and I have talked this whole thing to death. I want us to be here. Delaney needs to be here, whether she believes that or not. He knows how I feel about that. And he knows I’m not going to change my mind.”

“So, that’s the way it has to be, eh?”

“Yes it is. That’s not negotiable. What I’m working on now is a transfer to the Tanner facility. That should happen before too long. When it does Del and I can get an apartment here in town, and get out of your hair.”

“You’re not ‘in our hair’,” Nell insisted. “Besides, if your father is going off on his great adventure I’ll appreciate having Delaney here to keep me company.”

“I suppose she’d like that too,” Kathy agreed, though in fact she was not at all sure of that. “But it doesn’t feel right, sponging off you guys like this, though I don’t know what else we can do right now.” Then, with an audible sigh, “If only Gary wasn’t so darn stubborn.”

It was more than Nell was willing to take, at least for the time being. Piling her daughter’s nagging relational problems on top of her own was too depressing. She stood and pulled Kathy from her chair, into a close embrace.

“No one ever told us about this, did they?” she whispered. “How hard it could be keep these men of ours close to home. Sometimes it seems like it’s hard to live with them, and darn near impossible to live without them.

“So, in the meantime, let’s see what we can come up with for dinner.”

Installment 19

There in the quiet coolness of Courthouse Park Antonio pushed himself up on one hand, assembling what seemed to him an appropriate response, wondering if he had the right to be so blunt. “Look,” he said. “I’ve met girls like you before. Nice girls who wanted people to think they’re tough. To tell you the truth, that doesn’t look so good on you.”

Her silly grin was gone. Delaney had suddenly turned very serious. “Mr. Calle, I’ve grown up around the most macho of macho bad guys and the baddest of bad dudes. I know all about them. Don’t you doubt that. The thing is, I am tough. I’ve had to be. It’s not an act. Skateboard outlaws don’t scare me a bit.” By then her grin had returned. “But walking home, going uphill all the way, that has me wondering if I’ll make it.”

He stood, brushed loose grass from his jeans and offered her his hand. “We’ll make it, even if I have to carry you, which I don’t want to do. Just remember, it’s not a race. We’ll just take our time.”

They walked south, toward the sprawling Tanner Hospital complex, then on to the verdant, oak shaded greenness of Granger Hill Park. There they paused for a few minutes to watch a pair of frisbee catching dogs put on a show. All the while their sparse conversation was a matter of quiet, unobtrusive small talk until, as they started up the first long hill Delaney was asking her next question.

“You said you had a business. Is that right? What’s that about?”

A few strides later Antonio offered his succinct, understated reply. “Digital photography.”

“What kind of photography is that? What do you mean?”

“That’s what my business is about,” he said. “It’s what I do. I take old pictures, photo albums, and slides, stuff like that. I scan them into my computer. Then I edit them, maybe touch them up a bit, and copy them onto a disc. If a customer wants, I can create a slide show, one that they can show on their TV. Or I can make hard copies of their pictures and put together a new album.”

“And there’s enough of that to make a business?”

“Oh yeah. You wouldn’t believe how many old folks have books and boxes of old photos and slides they never look at, mostly because it’s too much hassle. Lots of times they don’t even own a slide projector anymore. My job is to make it easier for them. At the same time it’s a good deal for me too, something I can do at home, working nights or weekends, whenever I have a few hours. I’m thinking I can make enough at it to get me through college.”

They walked on in silence, while Delaney struggled to flesh out a mind picture of her new friend. It was not an easy thing: selecting the shapes and colors from which to construct a mental image of someone she hardly knew. For as long as she could remember she had relied on gut level intuition to create those impressions. That usually worked at Venice Beach. Like most of her friends she had favored good looking guys, who were at ease around girls, yet able to hold their own in the competitive universe of young males.

By that yardstick it was hard to know how Antonio Calle might measure up. True, he was dark and good looking, better groomed than the average California guy, and certainly more deferential to adults. He seemed at ease with her, without being overly interested in making an impression. 

But he was short, not much taller than her. What did that mean when it came to looking out for himself, when some pushy guy came down on him. In the world she had known that was something worth knowing. So far her only clue was his pointed caution against hanging out around the skateboard crowd. On the surface he was looking out for her. Yet it seemed that his own uneasiness was not far below the surface. How would that serve him if ever push came to shove?

Finally, her thoughts returned to the present. “So you’ll be starting classes at the community college this fall,” she said. “While I’m coping with Tanner Southside High, trying to get my senior year behind me.”

“You’ll like it. It’s a good school. Has lots of famous alums.”

“Like who?”

“Like me, of course.”

The hills had turned steeper. Conversation was set aside as they marched on. Thirty minutes from downtown they were approaching the Padgett’s south end neighborhood. Though Delaney was tired, it was a good tired. Moreover, she was enjoying the company of young Antonio Calle, and the afternoon they had spent together. She could not remember being around a boy quite like him, with no apparent need to put on airs, so willing to admit what he was not.

Still, there were things about him that were not so easy to read, such as his fiscal priorities. “You say you’re usually broke,” she observed, breaking a long silence. “But you’re saving for college and your photography classes. Wouldn’t it be more fun to use some of that money to live a little, maybe have a car? Most guys I know would say the wheels ought to come first.”

“How about you?” Antonio asked, glad to find she was still in a conversational mood. “Which do you think is more important? You’ll be out of high school in another year. What do you want to do? Have you figured out how you’ll spend your money? ”

“First of all,” she laughed. ‘I have to get through my senior year. I’ve known a few kids who couldn’t get that done. It’s not a slam dunk, especially at a new school. Beyond that, I don’t know. My mom has decided that I need to go to college, that I need a degree of some kind. But I can’t see how that would help. To wait that long to start living makes no sense at all.”

The boy walked on, chuckling to himself, wondering if being a year older gave him the right to be lecturing her like a parent. Delaney seemed to understand that her mother was right. He could tell that. But would she be able to make that her reality?

“You know damn well it makes sense,” he said, hoping to downplay the parental tone. “Without more schooling of some kind, that ‘living’ you want to do will be pretty lame. What is it you’d like to do when you grow up? Are you going to settle for trapping some poor unsuspecting husband? Is that your idea of happily ever after?”

For the first time he had her hand in his as they crested the last of the hills, just two blocks from home “That is, of course,” he teased, "If you ever grow up. Either way, trapping a husband shouldn’t be too hard for someone like you. If that’s what you want.”

How about that, Delaney told herself, grinning as she looked down at their joined hands. The boy did know something about girls after all. A second later she turned back to his question.

“I don’t know what I’ll do, or what I want to do. Except it won’t start with ‘trapping a husband’. I know that for sure.” Then, a couple steps later, “I don’t suppose ‘mall hopping’ qualifies as a career, does it? ? Anyway, you don’t have to worry about that. You’ve already got a head start with your business.”

“Sure, it’s a start,” the boy nodded. “And, I’m hoping the photography courses will help me expand. If I can earn enough doing that, I want to start working on an accounting degree. I’ve heard that people pay pretty well to have someone keep track of their money. If that’s right, I’d like to be that guy. That’s my idea of a career.”

Finally, on the Padgett front porch, Antonio was preparing to take his leave when Delaney decided she wanted his company a bit longer. “Why don’t you come inside for a second,” she suggested. “I’ll get us a glass of ice water. It’s a hot ole day out here, and you still have to walk half way back to town.”

In truth, it was not a hard sell, either the ice water or her company. He followed her through the wide entry area and down the hall toward the kitchen. A second later she stopped so abruptly he nearly ran into her. Without a word the girl stood staring into the family room, taking in the pair sitting side by side on the sofa.

“Grandma? You came home.”

“So it would seem,” Nell Padgett replied. Her hand was resting lightly on her husband’s knee, offering an unspoken hint of marital accord. “Hello, Antonio. Dan tells me you were showing Delaney the sights of Tanner.”

“Yes, ma’am. I did. Though I’m not sure she was too impressed. Anyway, we had a good time. At least I did.”

"We did,” the girl nodded. “I was going to get him a glass of water before he starts home.” She nudged him toward the hallway, before turning back to add, “I’m glad you’re home.”

Together the young pair started toward the kitchen. By the time they reached the refrigerator he had her hand again.

Installment 18

Chapter Fifteen

Antonio had called the night before to confirm that Delaney was still interested in a walking tour of downtown Tanner. In all likelihood she had never received an invitation quite like his. It seemed that he owed her a chance to change her mind. After all, she was a California girl, and proud of it: self-confident, outspoken, and cute. That, in his mind, made her an unlikely candidate for a long walk with the lawn mowing guy.

Yet, in spite of his trepidation, Delaney sounded as enthusiastic as ever about seeing the "highlights" of downtown Tanner. True, she had her own irreverent comments to register about what the town had to offer compared to her favored Los Angeles haunts. Perhaps she was daring him to prove her wrong, a challenge he was willing to accept. He would be at the Padgett home by eleven o’clock Thursday morning. Delaney promised to be ready.

Then, on Thursday morning, Antonio had called again with a new “heads up”. He was running ahead of schedule and would be there by ten thirty. When he rang the doorbell at ten fifteen Delaney was half laughing to herself. Apparently her new friend was anxious for them to be on their way. Gathering her purse and sunglasses, she nudged the boy toward the family room, where her grandfather sat watching his stock market show.

“Antonio’s taking me to town,” Delaney announced.”He’s going to buy me lunch and show me all the highlights of Tanner town. So we probably won’t be gone long.”

“Just don’t be spending any big bucks,” Dan Padgett cautioned. “The market’s not treating us very well today.”

She turned back to Antonio to explain, “Don’t you be thinking I have anything to do with his silly stock market stuff. Grandpa sits there all morning, watching those silly screens with the numbers scrolling across the bottom, the ones that make me dizzy. He talks to himself, and drinks his coffee, and sometimes sounds like he’s in pain. I just try to stay out of his way.”

“Don’t worry, sir,” Antonio said. “This will be a low budget affair. We’ll do lunch at a fast food place. But the tour itself will probably take longer than she thinks, partly because we’re walking, and partly because there’s more to see in beautiful downtown Tanner than she realizes.” He aimed a soft jab at Delaney’s shoulder.

“She’s from California, you know,” the boy continued. “I’m pretty sure she has no idea what real culture looks like. I’ll try to show her the best we have to offer.”

By then she was tugging on his arm, pulling him toward the door. “Then lead on, dude. It’s time to put up or shut up. So cut the BS and show me what I’ve been missing.”

They started off down the gentle hills of the southern suburbs, the easiest part of their trek, strolling toward the central business district, which spread across a broad riverside plain. Fifteen minutes into their walk Antonio paused to point out a side street leading down the hill to their right.

“It’s four, maybe five, blocks down there to Southside High: my alma mater and your school-to-be. After all your misspent years in California schools, you’ll know right away that Southside is the real deal.”

"The real deal?" There was no holding back her laughter. “My God, Tanner kids wouldn’t know the ‘real deal’ if it fell on them.”

“You’ll like it. Trust me.”

“I’ve been there before, you know. My mom drove us past there last weekend. I thought it looked a lot like the correctional facilities they build in L.A. We called them ‘holding pens’. I’ll admit I wasn’t too impressed.” Seconds later she remembered, “I’m supposed to stop by there sometime in the next couple weeks to get registered. This will help me find my way.”

“Just doing my ‘tour guide’ duty. If you’d like, I could try to get away and walk over with you. It wouldn’t do to have you get lost trying to find ole T.S.H.”

A few blocks later Tony pointed off to their left. ”Just beyond that big church over there is one of the two really good skateboard layouts in town. There are usually some pretty good skaters working out there.”

“I’ll have to judge that for myself,” Delaney said. “I know all about boarding. After all, we invented it. Remember? We have guys in Venice turning pro. I’ll have to check this place out. That’ll be one way to tell how Tanner stacks up.”

Antonio had her arm, tugging her on down the hill. “You let me know when you’re ready to do that. I’ll tag along, if you don’t mind. It’s kind of a seedy place, with some ‘seedy’ characters. Not all of them are user friendly. I’m not sure you’d be smart to show up there alone.”

“Are you kidding me?” Delaney hurried to keep up. “When it comes to bad dudes and gangsters, we invented those too. I’ve hung out with them all my life. I guarantee you, no seedy ole Tanner dude isn’t going to spook me.”

The day was warm, even in the shade of the spreading trees that lined the sidewalks of the older parts of residential Tanner. By the time they reached the foot of the last hill, on the edge of the downtown business district, they were ready to rest in the welcoming, air-conditioned McDonalds.

“I think they put this place here just for us walkers,” Antonio observed as he held the door for her. “A cone or a coke usually sounds pretty good by the time I get here. I know it’s a little early, but today we’ll do lunch. Okay?”

“Are you sure? You were saying you’re always broke. I don’t want to dent your budget.” Delaney paused, laughing softly. “That’s what Gary calls it. He’s mom’s boyfriend, at least he used to be. When she goes a little overboard, like she sometimes does, he says she’s ‘putting another dent in the budget’”

“I promised you a lunch, remember? And that’s what we’re doing. Don’t you worry about that, California Girl.” He was teasing now, in a quiet, easy going way that made her feel good. “I am thrifty. But I’m not cheap. Anyway, spending a few bucks to make the right impression seems like a worthwhile investment.”

“Oh God. You’re not one of those ‘investment geeks’, like Grandpa. Are you?”

“Probably not like him. This is a different kind of investment. It’s too early to tell what kind of return to expect. But I’m willing to risk a few bucks on it. Why don’t we take our lunch out back, to the patio.”

At a table on the far side of the shaded patio, Delaney was ready to address a couple of the questions she had gathered during their long walk. “Does everyone in Tanner walk to town? Or is that an ‘Antonio’ thing?” She paused, wondering if that was too abrupt. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s probably a good idea. I’m sure it’s healthy. But it does take a long time to get from one place to another.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Especially with all the hills. Though coming to town is mostly downhill. You’ll probably notice the difference when we start back home.” He was silent for a bit, concentrating on his burger, asking himself if he was about to sabotage his “impression making” efforts. “Anyway, most of the guys around here have cars. Lots of the girls too. But I don’t. Neither does my mom. Our apartment is half a block from the bus stop. When we’re not walking, that’s how we get around.”

“No car at all?” Delaney’s incredulous frown nearly had him laughing. “I don’t think I’ve even known anyone who didn’t have any car at all. It sounds like you work at lot. Wouldn’t that pay for a car, or at least a bike?”

“Welcome to the real world, Delaney Padgett. You’re right. I do work a lot. So does my mom. In fact, she juggles three jobs. My little sister is sixteen, like you. She works all day at a daycare center. During school she’s there three hours every afternoon. As for a bike, I’ve had two of them. They got ripped off about as fast as I bought them. So I quit doing that.”

“And you mow lawns all summer?”

“Right. I mow lawns, and I run my own little business. This fall I’ll start classes at the Community College.”

“And your dad?” She asked her question and waited for his response. The longer she waited the more it felt like there were some questions that were better left unasked. 

“From what you’ve said, I’m guessing that my dad must have been something like yours,” he finally said. “He checked out a long time ago, right after Erica was born. He just kind of went missing in action, I guess. I don’t remember him at all.” He looked up to notice Delaney nodding her understanding. “So that leaves the three of us to look after ourselves. As long as we’re all working, we get by okay. There’s always food on the table.”

There was more he could have said. But, on second thought, why let a promising afternoon get bogged down in that kind of stuff? Instead, he crumpled his burger and fry wrappers and set them on the serving tray. A minute later she had done the same and he was tugging on her hand. “On your feet, California Girl. It’s time for you to meet Tanner, up close and personal.”

After their long walk from the south side hills, taking in the main sights of downtown Tanner was not a particularly daunting task. From Water Front Park, through a couple malls in the compact business district, and beyond to the State Capital Building and its surrounding grounds was little more than half a mile. Including a quick tour of the Capital itself, they covered it all in an hour and a half.

With those sights behind them, Antonio steered them to the shade of Courthouse Park. There, on the grass, across the sidewalk from the ornate fountain, he asked timidly, “Well, what do you think? How does it stack up with what you’re used to?” He watched as she bit her lip, probably to keep from laughing out loud, he told himself. “It’s not much, is it?” he said through his grin.

Stretching out on the sweet smelling grass, Delaney looked up at the sea of tree tops surrounding them, searching for a civil way to frame her critique. “Well, I saw the tallest building in Tanner, at least that’s what my guide told me. I’d have to say that in the real world ten stories isn’t much, kind of like a pimple or something.”

“Come on, this is the real world. This is Tanner. And remember, what it lacks in size, it makes up for in heart.”

“Yeah. Right.” Pulling herself to a sitting position, she wrapped her arms around her knees. “But I will say I saw a couple coffee houses that looked promising, like they might be my kind of place. Though of course I’d have to come back a night to hear their music before I could say for sure.

“As for the skateboard park down by the bridge, the one you said was the best around, that was pretty lame.” There was no holding back her laughter. “They were wannabes, for Gods sake. If you set them down in Venice they’d find out in a hurry what really bad dudes look like.”

“Don’t kid yourself. There were some ‘really bad dudes’ hanging out there, and the other park too for that matter. Those are not good places for a nice girl to be on her own.”

“A ‘nice’ girl?” She repeated. Was that a label she was willing to accept gracefully? “Who says that’s me?”

“Come on, California. That was supposed to be a compliment.” 

Pushing himself up on one hand, Antonio was assembling what seemed to him an appropriate response, wondering if he had the right to be so blunt. “Look,” he said. “I’ve met girls like you before. Nice girls who wanted people to think they’re tough. To tell you the truth, that doesn’t look so good on you.”

Her silly grin was gone. Delaney had suddenly turned very serious. “Mr. Calle, I’ve grown up around the most macho of macho bad guys and the baddest of bad dudes. I know all about them. Don’t you doubt that. The thing is, I am tough. I’ve had to be. It’s not an act. Skateboard outlaws don’t scare me a bit.” By then her grin had returned. “But walking home, going uphill all the way, that has me wondering if I’ll make it.”

Installment 17

Chapter Fourteen

Truth be told, the phone call I received the next morning was something of a surprise. My wife’s unexpectedly cheerful tone was a bit unsettling, though welcome, as was her suggestion that we meet for lunch. Most puzzling of all was where she asked me to meet her. As near as I could tell what she had in mind was a deja vu drenched return to 1963. It was enough to have me wondering what had changed in the last twelve hours.

Nell and I were both raised in Tanner. While I was growing up in the affluent suburbs of Tanner Heights, she was coming of age in the decidedly downscale North End. For eighteen years we had shared the same home town, shopped at the same stores, and frequented the same movie theaters. As far as we remembered our paths had never crossed. It had been a college blind date, and my subsequent offers to drive her home from school on weekends, that had set our relationship in motion.

Both of us, however, had always traced our first serious commitment to a long, two milkshake visit in a back booth of Black’s Restaurant during our freshman year. Even in those days the cramped eatery, now approaching its seventy fifth year in the same location, was a Tanner institution, with its unpretentious menu and casual ambiance.

It was there, just four weeks after our first awkward date, that we began talking about ourselves as a pair, a team. After college, when we returned to Tanner to become a family, we often returned to Black’s for a meal or simply a milkshake. Those visits never failed to stir old memories of the special day that started us down the road to our future. Now, on a hot mid-August afternoon, in response to Nell’s call, I arrived at Black’s to find her waiting in a booth across the room from what we had always thought of as our booth.

This time, however, before I could take my customary place beside her, Nell was pointing to the bench seat across the table from her. “I like to look at you,” she said with an unsmiling smile. Without accepting her reason, I did as I was told.

While the waitress waited, we studied our menus and ordered. A moment later we had settled into an awkward quiet, until my questions would wait no longer. “Are you going to tell me what this is about? Why are we doing lunch? And why here?”

She looked away, poking at the ice cubes in her water glass, letting me stew a bit. She must have thought it rather amusing, playing head games with the one guy she knew better than he knew himself.

“You don’t like it here?” she finally asked. “I’ve always thought of it as a special place, where something very special first happened.”

“It is a special place. I agree. But right now I’m wondering what makes it appropriate for today’s lunch.”

“You know exactly why it’s appropriate,” she chided. “You haven’t forgotten our first time here, have you? I know it was a long time ago, but you must remember that.”

“Of course I do, like it was yesterday.”

“Then you ought to remember that was when we first started trusting each other. And you must know that everything that’s happened since then has been built on that trust. You can’t doubt that. Can you?”

“I guess not. I’ve just never thought of it that way.”

She was so damn calm, so apparently in control. I knew she was leading us somewhere. I could tell that. Yet there was no hint of the emotional urgency a younger Nell would have brought to the conversation. Instead, I heard only her casual coolness. Perhaps that was what had me on edge, wondering where her quiet dramatics were taking us.

“I’m not sure I did either,” she admitted. “Until the night before last. I was watching a program that.........”

“And where was that?” I interrupted. “Where were you when you watched that program?”

I had seen that mischievous grin before, though usually in a less intimidating setting. “Never you mind,” she answered. “I saw it. That’s all you need to know for now. Except that it was enough to get me thinking.”

“About what?”

“About trust. At least in a round about way.” Nell leaned back as her meal was set before her. Then, as the server backed away, she continued, half laughing at my anguished sigh. “It was on Oprah’s new show.”

“Oprah? Now there’s a likely source of good information. Especially on something like ‘trust’. When did you start paying attention to her?”

While I waited, she deliberately tasted her sandwich, clearly in no hurry, seeming to enjoy the sight of me growing more impatient by the second.

“The program wasn’t exactly about trust," she said. “That’s what I meant by ‘a round about way’.”

I set my fork down to offer my protest, “Will you spit it out, woman? Just get off the dime and tell me what the hell you’re talking about.”

Leaning low over the table she motioned for me to calm down. “We’re in the middle of a restaurant for heaven sakes. Just quiet down and I’ll tell you what this is about.” Bending closer she half whispered, “The program I was watching was about what they called ‘open marriage’.”

"Open marriage?" My surprise was loud enough to draw puzzled glances from the table across the aisle. Leaning closer, I was asking my own quieter question. “Is that what I think it is? Some kind of hippy, new age thing?”

“I’m not sure what you think it is.” Nell returned to her sandwich for a few seconds, before continuing. “The way they talked about it, it means that a couple is married, like we are, but he’s doing his thing, and she’s doing hers.”

Wow. I leaned back against the cushioned bench seat, wondering if she was serious, or playing games. “You can’t mean that. That makes no sense. It’s not us at all.”

“And why not? As soon as I heard them explaining what it was, I realized that you were already in that place. There we were, half way to an open marriage and I didn’t even know it.”

The waitress refilled my coffee cup while I studied Nell’s tight lipped glare. There was nothing in her demeanor to suggest she was joking. My gut tensed again as that understanding took hold.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Just as serious as you are about going off to see the world on your own, and leaving me home alone.”

About then I was sensing the need to move beyond the constraints of our restaurant booth. There, in a roomful of diners, my natural responses were likely to be inappropriate. Still, I had to try.

“How many times have I told you I would rather not be going alone. I want you to be there too. If only you’d agree to go.”

“But I won’t. So instead you’re taking off alone. You’ll probably be gone for weeks at a time. Going here and there, seeing God knows what, meeting God knows who. That sounds to me like someone 'doing his own thing'. Don’t you agree?”

I pushed my cup and plate aside and reached for my cap. “Look, could we go outside, out to the parking lot? I don’t want us going on like this in front of all these people.”

“Do you think it will be any different out there?”

Without answering, I was on my feet, making for the front counter to pay the bill. Minutes later, in the hot, unshaded parking lot I found Nell leaning against her car. By then I was ready with the question her silly “open marriage” talk had me asking myself.

“So when I leave, you’re telling me that ours will become an ‘open marriage’. You'll be doing who knows what, with who knows who. Is that it?”

Perhaps she was expecting, or at least hoping for, my capitulation. If so, my continued talk of leaving, in the face of her “open marriage” talk was bound to offend. I heard that loud and clear in the no-nonsense tone of her response.

“I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do,”she said. “I never dreamed I would have to decide about something like that. Besides, whatever I do, or whomever I do it with, you’ll be gone. I don’t suppose it will even matter to you.”

Damn, the lady would not back off. She just kept coming. By then I was off and pacing across the parking lot, returning a moment later to offer my own no-so-reasoned critique. “You’re talking crazy, Nell. I don’t know where you’re getting this stuff. Everything about you matters to me: what you think and what you do. You matter to me. And you know that.”

If I thought that was going to help, I was wrong. Without batting an eye she pulled herself to her full five foot two, and mounted her challenge. “You mean I ‘matter’ so much that you’re willing to drive off all over the country, leaving me sitting at home. Is that your way of showing how much I matter?”

By the time I found a suitable reply my agitated bluster had turned to quiet resignation. “I don’t know what to say,” I finally admitted. “I never dreamed my own wife would be threatening me like this.”

“Dan Padgett, I am not threatening anything or anyone. I’m just saying I don’t know what I’ll do when you drive off. I really don’t. It’s not something I’ve ever thought of.”

“This is so damn silly.”

“You’re right. It is silly. But no more silly than the corner we’ve already worked ourselves into.”

Silly or not, an instant later I was startled by her touch as she reached for my hands. In fact, she was squeezing them as a she explained, “It was yesterday, when I finally realized how ‘silly’ things had become, when I realized we ought to meet here, at Black’s. It felt like we needed to go back to the beginning, to see if we could get back to that trust we found here the first time. I was hoping there was still some of that left to work with.”

There were things to be said. I knew that. But how to say it? I needed time for that, more time than we had at that moment. So instead, I let her make her final point before we moved on.

“Anyway, I’d already decided it was time for me to come home. If you’re about to leave, someone needs to be there with Delaney. It sounds like that is my job, at least for now. So I’ll see you at home.”

As I watched her drive off I was still trying to decipher her message, to make sense of what I had just heard. Without waiting for those answers I started across the parking lot to the pickup. 

We came home that afternoon to an empty house. Delaney had told me earlier she was going to town with Antonio. While I went to my desk to reconcile the latest bank statement, Nell hurried on to the kitchen, to catch up on neglected household chores that Delaney and I would have done, had we known she was about to return. Without that forewarning, Nell could only grumble about how we could have made such a mess in only three days. 

Then, with her chores done, she joined me in the family room for what she probably hoped would be a less emotional, more productive conversation. Before that idea ever got off the ground Delaney came through the door, with Antonio in tow. Just as well, I told myself. It was time to give it a rest.